Body Image: Navigating pregnancy after an eating disorder

When you first find out you're pregnant, a number of thoughts run through your head.

'Will it be a boy or a girl?'

'What will their name be?'

'Am I ready for this?'

But the chances are, if you have experienced an eating disorder and/or body dysmorphia, there will be others that join them.

'How will I deal with my increased hunger?'

'How will I cope with my body changing during pregnancy?'

'Will it trigger me?' 

At one point, I was so sensitive to the way that my body looked, if I gained just a few pounds, I’d feel it. My clothes would feel uncomfortable, my skin would feel tight and itchy. I just wanted to grab at fat and pull it all off. I'd sign up for weight loss diets, follow training programmes until I was exhausted and forever lamented about the fact that I just "didn't have enough willpower".

Being dissatisfied with my own body was one of the things that kept feeding my eating disorder for so many years. When I got pregnant, it had been 7/8 years since I had been in treatment. I had been in a really good place with my body image and my relationship with food and exercise for many years.

But knowing that my body was going to change (and change very dramatically) felt a bit daunting, as I had no clue what to expect and knew that it had the potential to be a challenge.

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